THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE?
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1800-273-8255
IF YOU HAVE A PLAN...STOP AND GO GET HELP. I WANT YOU TO LIVE. BESIDES IF YOU DO IT YOU WILL, REGRET IT THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE. READ BELOW.
I don't want to say that I know how you are feeling, that frustrates some. I felt alone, tired, that kind of tired that makes you feel like, I couldn't do it anymore. I felt angry, misunderstood, very sad as if nobody cared about me. I was depressed, I felt like I was at my lowest of lows like as if I had sunk in a deep hole and could not get out, not this time. My fear turned into a strange calm as if I did not care anymore. I just wanted the emotional pain to go away. Then I came to myself and realized that it was not all about me. I have children and friends and siblings and grandchildren, family. Wait! I have a Purpose a Destiny!
LIFE CAN BE TOUGH BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO DO LIFE ALONE. WE CAN STEP OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONES AND TRY A NEW THING LIKE VOLUNTEER HELP SOMEONE ELSE. (this gets us out of our head) We can also reach out for help.
SUICIDE? I DECIDED NOT TO DO IT. I FIGURED I HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO HURT MYSELF WHEN IN REALITY I WAS DISAPPOINTED BY THE WAY SOMEONE HAD HURT ME. THE ABUSE I EXPERIENCED WAS HURTFUL ENOUGH, THE TRAUMA(THE DEEPLY DISTRESSING DISTURBING EXPERIENCES HURT ENOUGH. THE THINGS I SAW HURT ENOUGH. THE LOSS I EXPERIENCED HURT ENOUGH.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO HURT MYSELF MORE? WHEN I WAS BEING MISTREATED I KNEW AT THE TIME THAT I WAS HURTING AND ANGRY AND DEPRESSED I WANTED BETTER. NOW I SEE THAT I HAVE THE POWER WITHIN MYSELF TO DO BETTER TO LIVE A HAPPIER HEALTHIER LIFE AND IT ALL STARTS BY THE WAY I CHOOSE TO THINK. WHAT WAS I SAYING TO MYSELF? SOME PEOPLE SAID HATEFUL THINGS TO ME BUT I CHOSE TO BELIEVE THEM BASED ON THEIR OPINION OF ME. I FORGOT I HAD CHOICES. WHAT GOD THINKS OF ME IS WHAT REALLY MATTERS AND HE CREATED ME AND HE LOVES ME.
WHAT DID I DO?
I MADE A LOVING CHOICE TO FEEL MY FEELINGS, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM. I STARTED TELLING MYSELF THAT I WAS VALUABLE AND HAD GREAT WORTH.(Affirmations) I STOPPED ATTACHING DANGER TO MY FEELINGS. I STARTED TELLING MYSELF THAT I DESERVE TO LIVE. I TOLD MYSELF THAT "I AM ENOUGH" THE ABUSE DID NOT TAKE AWAY MY SELF WORTH. THE PAIN DID NOT TAKE AWAY MY WORTH AND VALUE.
I HAVE BEEN TAUGHT THAT I WAS BORN FOR A SPECIFIC PURPOSE. I HAVE A DESTINY. TODAY, I REALIZE THAT I COULD USE MY PAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE DISCOVER THAT THEY ARE NOT ALONE. I CAN GET HEALTHIER AND HELP OTHERS WHILE I AM GETTING HEALTHIER. PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR MY STORY SO I CHOOSE TO OWN IT BECAUSE KILLING MYSELF WOULD BE A SELFISH THING TO DO. EVEN IF I FELT THAT NO ONE CARED ABOUT ME THAT IS NOT TRUE, I CAN LEARN TO CARE ABOUT ME. GOD CARES ABOUT ME. IF I AM TREATING MYSELF AS VALUABLE THEN I CAN LEARN TO HAVE HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS.
TODAY, I CHOOSE TO LIVE. I WILL FEEL MY FEELINGS OWN THEM AND CHANGE ANY THOUGHTS THAT MAY BE CAUSING NEGATIVE ENERGY. I WILL PICTURE SOMETHING I LIKE. I WILL LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP, BE PATIENT WITH MYSELF AND GIVE MYSELF WHAT I NEED. I AM MAKING A COMMITMENT TO ME. I CHOOSE LIFE AND I HOPE YOU DO TOO. I WANT YOU TO LIVE.YOU DESERVE TO LIVE BECAUSE GOD GAVE YOU LIFE. I CAN TAKE THE TIME TO CREATE THE LIFE I WANT. TRUSTING GOD TO CONNECT ME WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE; PEOPLE WHO CARE. CHOOSE LIFE! IT GETS BETTER IF WE ONLY BELIEVE.
NOTE: THERE ARE SUPPORT GROUPS THAT ARE AVAILABLE TO YOU. GOING TO THE HOUSE OF GOD HELPS TOO(CHURCH). WELL, THAT IS WHAT I DID. I PRAY AND CHOOSE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CREATOR.