SEE BELOW IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH LOSS.
WHAT IS TRAUMA? DEFINITION: 1. A DEEPLY DISTRESSING OR DISTURBING EXPERIENCE. ( EG. LIKE THE DEATH OF A CHILD OR SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU).
2. PHYSICAL INJURY, DAMAGE, WOUND, MAYBE A DISEASE OR SERIOUS ILLNESS.
THE WORD "TRAUMA" IS USED TO DESCRIBE EXPERIENCES OR SITUATIONS THAT ARE EMOTIONALLY PAINFUL AND DISTRESSING, AND THAT OVERWHELM PEOPLE'S ABILITY TO COPE, LEAVING THEM FEELING POWERLESS.
TRAUMA IS AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE TO A TERRIBLE EVENT LIKE AN ACCIDENT, RAPE, OR NATURAL DISASTER. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE EVENT SHOCK AND DENIAL ARE TYPICAL. LONGER TERM REACTIONS INCLUDE UNPREDICTABLE EMOTIONS, FLASHBACKS, STRAINED RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS LIKE HEADACHES OR NAUSEA.
TRAUMA CAN ALSO CAUSE MENTAL DISABILITIES CAUSING A PERSON TO STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION, FEAR, PANIC ATTACKS, OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIORS, INABILITY TO FOCUS, PARANOID RESPONSES, ISSUES WITH TRUST, OVER REASONING, BLAMING, ANGER/RAGE.
HOW DID I DEAL WITH LOSS? HOW DID I VALUE MY MENTAL HEALTH AFTER LOSS? AS I BECAME MORE SELF AWARE I LEARNED TO MANAGED MY ENERGY. I TOOK RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY FEELINGS. I HAVE CHOICES.
My Experience: I have lost people I loved, I have lost money, my home, valuable possessions, things I loved. At first I was in shock but I had to catch my breath and turn around and face reality. I blamed others and God, I felt sad, anxious, angry, fearful, powerless. I relived the situation over and over again in my mind until eventually I was depressed, self-pity had become a cycle of self sabotaging behaviors. One day I had to face how I felt and how I was thinking. I had to take a look at what I was doing to myself by holding on to the resentment and fear.
The people had passed on, the things, the money was gone. What were my choices? How did I take care of myself? I willed myself to shift my thinking. I took responsibility for my feelings. I let go of the shame for having them. I am human too. In my spirit I needed to reconnect with my higher spirit.(God). I chose to speak to Him even if I was angry. At some point I told him that I was sorry for blaming Him because I know my Creator(God)loves me.
Humility, Forgiveness, Faith, Gratitiude and Acceptance helped me get set free. (I realized that I did not have to be right; sometimes feelings lie). I also had to choose to forgive those who hurt my loved ones or took them away from me. Then I trusted God to heal my heart and soul I asked Him to. I chose to do this for the sake of my mental health.(humility is a partnership in my healing process.
I began to be thankful for the opportunities, for the people, places and things, that I once enjoyed. I also realized that material things are always available. My mother who passed away in 2016, sickness took her away from me. Nobody is here forever. This is one reason why we must discipline ourselves to appreciate what we have and those we love. We are created to love, but not love someone or something else more than we love ourselves or our Creator. I am grateful for the memories, all the times I made her laugh and the things we did together even the times when we did not agree and we both had time to grow.
During those days as a child going through childhood trauma watching my mother in abusive relationships, some nights wondering if she was going to make it home after a night out with friends while numbing her pain. I remember looking out the window not being able to sleep until she came home. Yes, I am very grateful for the years all of them.
Losing my father in the 80's ,wondering if he would ever change? We did not have much time together, but I am grateful for whatever memories I have, including him reaching out to me twice before he died because he was a alcoholic and his body was finally telling him that enough was enough. That relationship was too short according to my perception. The people who I wanted to be in my life or stay forever, I had to let them go in my mind for the sake of my mental health. I had to put them in a safe place in my heart.
I allow myself to miss some of them, shifting my mindset, if I get too sad, I practice gratitude and bring my mind back to the moment. I look around me and be grateful. The things I lost, the relationships that ended, were apart of my journey in life. I am grateful for the lessons. I LOVE MYSELF MORE. Those I love who are not here anymore would not want me to be stuck in negative energy (depression, resentment, fear, anger, anxiety, self-pity, blame). Choices: Today, I choose, self love, to give and receive love, forgiveness, and whatever it takes for me to be healthy emotionally, spiritually and physically. Today, I LIVE and not just survive. There is Greatness and Purpose living in us alI; I am responsible for my own good energy, happiness and making sure I am teachable and willing to grow through every experience. I do my Self Checks I monitor my energy(feelings) just in case I need to change my thoughts. There are Life Lessons in Loss too.